Book Review - Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages
In this book review, we will tackle a subject which impacts physical, as well as emotional health: our relationships. I can’t think of a better book for building relationships than Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages.
Chapman’s book is written for married couples, but can be applied to any relationship.
The principles can be applied to our relationships with co-workers, in-laws, neighbors, and everyone else. Ensuring harmony in our relationships can keep stress at bay when conflict arises.
Chapman’s first three chapters review the expectations couples have when they’re in love and how reality can be a wake-up call challenging the strongest feelings of love.
In chapters 4 to 8 Chapman describes how people prefer to be appreciated and loved. He boils it down to what he calls the five languages of love: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service.
Chapter 4 is titled Words of Affirmation. We all know words have an affect on our moods and self-image, but for some people, it is the main language of love. Chapman reveals how these people respond especially well to compliments and tender conversations. Giving these people words of affirmation is the easiest way to touch their heart and love them.
Chapter 5 discusses the second love language: quality time. This language of love is simple, but hard to do for those who see passing time with others as unproductive. In the past, people used to sit leisurely on the front porch, passing time, enjoying conversation with a friend. Chapman outlines how some people feel especially loved when others spend quality time with them.
Receiving Gifts is the title of Chapter 6. We all know someone who loves getting gifts, and others who are not so thrilled. People who respond with joy to receiving gifts may be the ones who receive love in that way. For people who are wired for gifts, it’s more than a gift, it’s an expression of love.
Chapter 7 reveals the fourth love language: Acts of Service. Having a special task done is really appreciated by some. This person is the type who likes others to help them with jobs. Often they are busy people with a lot to do. Doing household chores for someone who most appreciates it is an expression of this love language.
The last love languages is physical touch. While sex is one form of physical touch, it isn’t the only kind, and for some individuals, a cuddle, a hug, a touch on the hand, or other form of touch not only means more, but can have a lasting impact.
The last five chapters of the book help readers discover their own love language and how to express love to others using other’s love language. Chapman declares love to be a choice in how we express love so others will receive it.
The book can be applied to relationships which are not romantic. His ideas simply expand our understanding of how people react to thoughts, words, actions, and touch. Those principles can be applied in business relationships as well as friendships.
Chapman’s book has sold over five-million copies. Read it if you want better relationships.
